I Am So Not Ready For This Title 2017. Acrylic on canvas, 20 x 16″
The first painting I made yesterday in an outpouring of emotion while dreaming of the inevitable end to all whom we love. Whether they go first or we go first, we all go in the end. Not profound, still, sometimes overwhelming when contemplated for too long.
Then soon after, I got over my innocent and love overflowing daydream and drove out to the grocery store for ingredients to a dinner that would show my appreciation to the humble family I share stories with every night. NPR talked about Russian hackers, spies, brutal autocrats, near dead and very rich U.S. Senators, the President-elect and his nonchalance over Russian hacking, spying, sneaking around peeping into other people’s e-mails… Then they quoted CIA directors past and present—the ones who spy, hack, peep into American’s e-mails, phone logs, underwear drawers, etc., etc, etc., and my mood got progressively more sour over the next hour while perusing ingredients for my love feast.
Fortunately I purchased my foodstuffs before I got so low and ornery as to simmer gruel in a pot for the night and leave it at that.
I am supposed to trust with my nation’s tenuous future disgusting men who access my children’s whereabouts, online habits, or perhaps even sweetheart texts sent in dreaming of their own future love-giving scenarios? These filthy, dirty men peeking in on my toilet… I am supposed to trust them—knowing their wildly perverted intentions—to tell the truth when they lied to Congress when asked to tell the truth?
No. I do not trust them. They are Stasi-in-training. They are the enemy of the people. My people. The ones who I love and could learn to love because they are not rotten propagandists in collusion with any entity that attempts to prevent me from being the kind-hearted, sensitive creature I was born to become. NPR is CIA is FBI is Homeland Security is KGB.
I’ll make something nice today to dissolve these sordid agencies into the fine dust of oblivion. A painting. A meal. My greatest achievement this week will be to go a full day with the propaganda turned off. It is a confusion machine. And it is everywhere.