Teardrop, the Flightless Arctic Bird, Hopes a Robert Peary Meteorite Kidney Stone Lodged in the Urinary Tracts of All G8 Leaders


2015. Acrylic on canvas, 30 x 38″

A very long title. Sometimes the message is the medium. Otherwise the painting looks like a bunch of lounging seals on Armageddon holiday. “Iron ships on the water, very free… and easy”

No, Teardrop understands the chemistry of water, its four states on earth—liquid, solid, gas, and drowning. She knows where the last iron meteorite of Northern Greenland resides, and before its ice carpet is pulled out from under it, she hopes to magically reproduce the huge rock eight times inside the urinary tracts of the great G8.

Who are these bozos determining the fates of species? Good grandparents? Humble pilgrims? Humans are always so pathetically busy being human—all eight nations were blowing up multiple trillions of fauna and flora just two generations ago. And they are still able to hold earth in a vice. My God, for being such perfect losers, they sure have a lot of pull! Even after several hundred years with dominion over earth, they are powerless to inflict widespread contentment upon their own species. I think Teardrop and her friends know what’s going on, and they’re not gonna wait for Marvin Gaye to deliver the message this era. I’ll watch the cramping agony on Swiss time at the next G8 summit. After a giant meteorite bursts out of eight leaders at once, it will be very difficult to persuade replacements.

Hooray! Earth as it was when being human wasn’t everything.

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