Vote For Your Favorite Bacterium


Election Day gives us the perfect opportunity to go out and support with our vote some real nasty, vile and disgusting human beings. I can’t wait to pick the right psychotic for the job—he or she will set the record straight, and secure employment for the entire population, and rodents too most likely. Clean energy will hum with no more intrusion on dread than a summer cicada, neighbors will hang laundry side by side on sunny days, and children will be thin.

Sometimes an honest narcissist sneaks onto the ballot. An environmental Green or playbook Libertarian. No matter. In a super economy, the issues aren’t about how to fill up the food bowl with nutritional happiness, but rather the choice of decorative food bowls available for sale off a China cargo ship, and can I get a leaf blower with that?




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