Sauerbraten Digests Well But Is Expensive To Eat

Find Love Close Hell O Nurse

Sotheby’s teamed up with E-bay to help facilitate my glorious failure. You can bid-fight on this painting all week here.

Yesterday my near-future son-in-law called both sides of the family to a Finger Lakes wine tour. We had a great time. Very dreamy. Vineyards. Ease. Repose. Wealth. And then I sobered up in the German restaurant at the end of the trail, imagining each bite of sauerbraten to be a $20 bill swallowed and gone. Internally I panicked, intent on licking the plate clean of pickled red cabbage juice. Make a bid on this painting. There’s a $75 reserve to cover the cost of dinner and a box of locavore chocolate as souvenir for our thirteen-year-old. Our 24-year-old gets married on Saturday. The painter went into debt for a dowry. Find love. Close Hell—O Nurse.

And it was worth every meal not paid for.

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