My Wife Sent Me To France And All She Got Were These Fracking Paintings

The Boar Thinks Benzene Poisoning Is Funny

I do not speak or write in the French language. These translations are pathetic, but that’s okay because the fauna of France do not speak French either. But they are inclined to chew off our arms for the audacious move by the bad (rotten) apples among us who are encroaching upon their property rights. So, to translate for the English reading public, the painting above reads:

The Boar Thinks Benzene Poisoning is Funny

The Existential Worker Hornet Thinks It Might Prefer Euthanasia By Methane Gas

The Worker Existential Hornet Thinks It Might Prefer Euthanasia By Methane Gas

The Trout Swims Joyfully In A River Pool Of Toluene Paint Thinner

The Trout Swims Joyfully in a River Pool of Toluene Paint Thinner

The Roe Deer Wants Cheese To Taste Like Vanadium Curd

The Roe Deer Wants Cheese to Taste Like Vanadium Curd

The Stone Marten Waits At The Pipe Fitting For A Sip of Napththalene

The Stone Marten Waits At the Pipe Fitting For a Sip of Napththalene

The Slow Worm Hopes For A Garden Soaked In Formaldehyde

The Slow Worm Hopes A Garden Soaked in Formaldehyde Will Bring Longevity

There you have it! Serious French protest. I would not walk upon their soil if I were you, Mr. Fracker Cheese.

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